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NAZ
960907
exo • junmyeon
reading | writing | travelling

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없음.

Recent Posts
· 지켜줄게요
· kim jongdae
· 뭘 해야하는지 잘 모르겠어
· always.
· 이 느낌
· appreciation
· Truth
· Change
· May the 4th
· 다행이다.


이제 그만 놀자.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

Only the first three days of school and I feel so tired already. Long school days always drain the energy out of me. I come home, dump my bag, collapse onto my bed. Is this going to turn into a routine?

Always
Tuesday, June 28, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

Forever.
Waiting for someone to make me feel otherwise.


I thought of the nine boys.
Except that I've done the first three.
Still, I must be mad.

900!
Monday, June 27, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s
cr: leilockheart

900th post! :)

Today was quite a good first day of school. I felt left out, but that's okay.
Told myself I'd be more hardworking from this semester around. No more room for mistakes, no more room for fooling around. Well, maybe I can fool around, just for a little bit to destress. It's gonna take a lot of effort and determination, but I think I can do it. 

Why am I trying to push myself so hard?
Because I don't want to disappoint anyone again.



Meow.
Sunday, June 26, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

My new LJ banner, made by Steffi.
Isn't it pretty? ^^
Will be changing it once I'm ready to post my comeback fic. :)

I've been saying 'meow' a lot these days. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of AJ. Hmm.

Bought my new chair yesterday! Bought a table lamp and this laptop support, too. Was so tired but satisfied with my purchases. :)

It's funny how some people can make everything your fault even when you have nothing to do with it. Maybe it's just human nature to push the blame onto someone else. Then again, I don't know. I don't like being blamed for something I didn't do, but when I want to argue back, I can't find the words to do so. Sucks.

School reopens tomorrow. The timetable is looking okay, so far. I hope nothing screws over tomorrow. Animation after school, though. I'm fine with that, I guess.

Homework is still incomplete, so I better get off the computer. Adios!

:(
Tuesday, June 21, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s
I hate feeling so weak and vulnerable.

:)
Friday, June 17, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s
I am grateful to have such friends standing by me. Sometimes, I honestly feel that the friends I meet online are more trusty than those I meet in person. They're always there, to listen to my problems, and they tolerate my ranting which can become very annoying.

I spent time looking back at my old blog posts today. My blog posts were so short and typed without any thought. Quite amusing, really.

Looked back at my first fanfic as well. I remembered her, who helped me with it. I'm glad we broke ties earlier this year. I don't need anyone like her in my life. One who judges very single action of mine, every word that comes out from my mouth. One who had bad intentions, who was never sincere about our friendship.

It's all good. :)

And Marg, thank you so much for last night, love. ♥

Thank You
Thursday, June 16, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s
After my very emo post last night, I decided to talk to someone. Someone whom I think would care. Thought of talking to Yunah but she was asleep, so I turned to Marg instead. I realised that everyone is going to hurt me, sooner or later.

"See who is always there for you, who is always there to listen to you and your problems. These people who are giving you love without expecting something in return, are the people who are worth everything."

I can definitely list some people who are always there whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on. There are quite a few, and I feel lucky to have them by my side. I'll always hold them close to my heart. :)

Today, I wanted a change of my Twitter profile photo. I've been wanting to put my own photo for quite a while, so I narrowed down my already-small pile of photos. I decided on the one that's in my sidebar, and Yunah helped me edit it into an icon. ^^ I was a bit self-conscious, though.

If I ever feel really beautiful one day, I'd have Yunah and Marg to thank. Both are forever saying nice things about me, both appearance and personality wise. I'm almost, almost starting to believe their words.

Oh, and, a very happy 18th birthday to my darling yeot, Joan. 

I miss Kibum. I wonder how he's holding up. 

Crap.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s
Reading my old blog posts, I want to go back to when I was a kid. When I didn't have to worry about anything. When I had everything taken care of for me. When I had no problems at all. Too bad, we all have to grow up someday.

Nowadays, I'm always thinking negatively. I have no idea why, either. The thoughts just come without me wanting them to. It just.. happens. I can't stop it. I don't want to. I can't run away from problems, can I? Even if I do, the problems will find me again.

I hate it that I'm so insecure and so self-conscious. I don't like feeling like I'm worthless and useless. My biggest fear, is being forgotten, and I've been forgotten by a lot of people. I don't want to feel like that again. I wish there'd be someone who makes me feel important, someone that makes me feel like I'm wanted, someone that makes me feel loved.

I always feel like I'm annoying everyone around me. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. It's like I can't do anything right. I don't know if it's me, or something else. It's probably me. I have no idea on what to do.

I don't even know what's the problem, so how can I solve everything? God, please give me strength and energy to go on. I don't think I can continue putting on a fake front for much longer.

Malaysia with U-Kiss was awesome. :)
Blog currently under construction, it should be done over the weekend. :)

Oohlala.
Monday, June 06, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

I know I haven't posted a decent post in a while, so I figured, why not post today since I'm free? There's nothing else for me to do either.

School, school, school. It hasn't been that easy for me, and I'm very disappointed with my results and also myself. Who is there to blame for my horrible results? Only me. And because of my results, I was down in the pits for a few hours, refusing to talk to anyone. That was, until I got home and went online. Worries disappeared and I felt better.

I admit that I've been slacking off for school. I admit that I've been lazy. I nearly didn't study for everything. Then I realised, what am I going to do with my life if I keep wasting it away? Yes, I'm still young, but I've got to plan for the future, no? 'O' Levels are at the end of next year, and like my teacher said, preparations start from this year. Am I going to continue slacking off and end up doing badly for my national exams? No, I'm not going to. So I've decided to pick myself up, throw away all distractions and get myself back on track. There's still time for me to catch up, anyway. I think I can, with support from my teachers and friends. :3

Animation has been stressing me out. Well, not really the subject, but the competition I'm involved in. I have four other groupmates. I'm on good terms with three of them. The other one... not so good, but still okay. As a group led by our teacher, being the creative people we are (coughs), we came up with a pretty cool idea. I think it's enough to get us to the finals. As group leader, I have quite a lot of responsibilities but I think I can handle them. I hope I can. I'm screwed if I can't.

I've been talking to my mum about the U-Kiss events in Malaysia. Initially, she gave me permission but my dad came into the picture and I can't go anymore. I understand why, though. I guess it's not meant for me to meet them in another country. I shall wait patiently for the boys to come here instead. Actually, I can go for the free showcase. If only my parents move their trip to KL forward... I hope they do. Muahaha.

Talking about Malaysia... knowing their schedule and all that, the boys will definitely be beyond exhausted. A two-day schedule squeezed into a day. The boys are liars, they'll say they're not tired just so that fans won't worry. The bad thing is, most fans believe them. I hope they rest whenever they can. D:

For the past month, I've been thinking about my writing a lot. I always have long breaks in between chapters or one-shots and I'm pretty sure my readers don't like that. I'm not sure if I can commit myself to writing. Furthermore, I think my writing for fan fiction is horrible, even though some disagree with me. I haven't posted anything since 2nd May and I don't know if my readers are still there. Then today, I realised, how much I love writing and I wouldn't give it up. Why was I even considering it? Writing lets me explore my own imagination, coming up with things that most probably won't happen in real life. It is all fiction, anyway. So yes, I'll be making my LJ comeback soon with the final installation of my chaptered fanfic. I hope my readers are still there. :D

Evermore Kibum opened last week. It's been getting quite a lot of attention and support, and I'm glad. I can't wait for it to grow and be the primary source for all things Kibum. Speaking of Kibum, I miss that boy a lot. He's in Japan and returning to Korea tomorrow ~

Speaking of Japan (LOL), the boys will be in Japan for 3 whole months. How will I survive? I miss them a whole load already. :( They're tweeting in Japanese most of the time and I don't even understand, so I feel more lost. o.o I don't know their schedules anymore either. So sad. D:

Oh yeah, oh yeah. Moonpies, I hope you're reading this, LOL. You guys make me feel loved and wanted, so thank you for that. Thank you for cheering me up whenever I'm down. Thank you for always being there, through chat, Twitter, or even text. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you.

I'm gonna change my blogskin soon. I'm waiting for Yunah to work some magic on my blog. :3

MANAGER SHIN ~
Sunday, June 05, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s


That, is Shin's (U-Kiss' manager) cyworld.
And that, is my photo that he posted. 8D
I love you, Shin ~ ♥

Kibum my love~
Friday, June 03, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

I'm pretty sure that I love you.
More than I thought I would.
You're wanted and needed.