dream to believe.

dream to believe

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NAZ
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exo • junmyeon
reading | writing | travelling

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없음.

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· 지켜줄게요
· kim jongdae
· 뭘 해야하는지 잘 모르겠어
· always.
· 이 느낌
· appreciation
· Truth
· Change
· May the 4th
· 다행이다.

Sunday, August 28, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

Hehe, I edited that myself. ^-^ *points upwards*

It's been 3 years since U-Kiss had their Korean debut. I wasn't there from the start, but I don't regret joining them halfway in their journey. Better late than never, right?

They've been through so much. Ups, downs, difficulties, you name it. It hasn't been a very easy journey for them, yet they're still pushing through. It's through these boys that I learn how to go on and never give up. They've never given up, even though there were times where stones were thrown at them. People bashed them, but they don't let that bother them. They continue going on for the fans they love that love them back.

They started as six, and then seven. Fate decided to be cruel and took two wonderful boys away, but gave us another two lovely boys. They became seven from five. Through it all, they're still nine in my heart. These nine boys taught me so much, so much that I won't be able to forget whatever values they've taught me. Through these boys, I've met so many new, wonderful people. I stopped hating, and started loving. I stopped giving up, and started being determined in everything I do.

If I had the chance, I'd tell them personally how much they've changed my life for the better. They don't know me, but that's okay. As long as they're happy, I'm happy. I cry with them, laugh with them, smile with them. U-Kiss and Kiss Me are my second family that I will always love and support. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be this happy now. I'd be moping around because I'll always think that life sucks, but these boys changed the way I look at life, and I'm thankful that I've let them into my life.

I will always love, cherish, protect and support these boys because they deserve every single bit of it. I love them so much, words can't express it. Thank you, U-Kiss, and I love you.

Friday, August 26, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

Dun dun dun ~ Looks really amazing, huh? If only this was the album cover, hmm. >_>

Anyway, both teaser and Someday were released yesterday! I had to camp in 3C with no lights and fans on because I didn't wanna get caught for using my phone in school. I scared quite a few people from my hiding spot, though, hehe. I began counting down to the teaser since morning. Even when I was doing my papers, I started smiling and tingling inside whenever I though of the teaser, no joke.

NHM released the teaser on time! I'm impressed.

Seriously, what a GREAT teaser!

The boys all look so freaking amazing! I really like the ice sculpture! I wonder how much it cost. Anyway, Kevin was undoubtedly the most eye-catching in the teaser! The way he just moves his hand across his face while smirking. I nearly went crazy yesterday because of him, but luckily, I didn't. That would have been embarrassing since I was watching the teaser in school! Not only Kevin looks great. The others do too! I really can't wait for the music video and album to drop. ;_;

10 hours later, Someday was released! 15 minutes before that, I had Melon, Bugs, Mnet, Soribada and Dosirak open. Just imagine me refreshing each one when it was 12AM KST. Listened to the one-minute preview from Mnet and I was just stunned.

The song is SO beautiful! ;~; It's been playing on repeat ever since I got my hands on the full version last night! One thing I really love about Someday is that every one of them gets at least a few lines. Now, we all know that they can sing really well. Don't get me started on the lyrics. Okay, I will, anyway. x)

Sometimes hit, sometimes miss, it's always like that.

Just do it right tomorrow, it's just a small mistake.

Your suffering now is a sign of your hard work.

You get some right, you get some wrong.

Although tiring, there will be days to smile.

When you fall down, when you get up.

Eventually, a day to smile will come.

Everybody knows you tried. Everybody knows it's alright.

Everybody wins sometimes. Everybody knows you lose some.

(Translated lyrics from rocketboxx!)

The lyrics are really just beautiful. This is my new motivational song. ;_; The lyrics, the beat, the voices. Everything is just perfect and I'm really, really proud of my boys! I hope they'll perform this with Neverland during their comeback stages, like how they sang Before Yesterday and Shut Up. ;_;

Enough talking about the album! Common Test is already somewhat over, woo! Last paper (Combined Humanities) on Wednesday! Today's Friday, but I didn't have school because of my school being a centre for polling for the Presidential Elections. No school until Wednesday! Monday's a school holiday, Tuesday's Hari Raya. Thursday's Cross Country. Friday's a school holiday for Teacher's Day. So my last week of school, and I only need to attend on a day! Cross Country isn't counted since it's outdoors. :P

Went shoe shopping this morning with Mum! Bought a pair of beige wedges to go with my baju kurung and long dress for Hari Raya! Really like it a lot since it's so pretty! Maybe I'll post a photo up another day. There was another pair of heels at the same shop and it was really, really nice but there wasn't any size for me. :( I actually went to other shops before this one, and some of them had awesome pairs of heels that I like but they were too high. Mum said I'd look like a giant if I bought and wore them since I'm already tall, pfft. T-T

I got bored of studying on Wednesday night so... ^-^

I have a big face, I know! I don't know what made me take selcas.

Maybe I was just super bored and seriously had nothing better to do.

I very rarely take photos of myself so it's okay. A few times won't hurt. ^-^

Monday, August 22, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

Common Test 2 starts tomorrow! I'll admit that I've been being a lazy sloth and have not studied a single thing. Yay for me! ... Not. Mr Latiff, my Physics teacher, was like pleading (yet not really pleading) me to at least pass Physics since I've been failing. Mostly failing by 1 or 2 marks, jeez. What a waste.

If I really don't buck up, I can say bye-bye to going to Disneyland after O Level prelims next year. Pretty sure I can lose the weight that I need to by this time next year, but if my results are like trash (like how they are now), I can kiss USA goodbye!

I'm suddenly feeling very down now. I have no one to talk to and I'm too awake to sleep. Dear Naz, when will you realise how important your studies are? When are you going to do something about it? When it's too late? I'm telling you, you're going to regret. You're going to break down and cry. It isn't too late now, why not pick yourself up and start going forward? Why not start believing in yourself? Why let your flaws bring you down? Why only look at your bad sides? Why forget about your good sides? You have so many people caring and loving you but you still bring yourself down. Please wake up and realise everything before it's too late.

... Yeah, I had to do that. Recently, I don't like it when I rant to someone for things like this, especially to people I've ranted to before. I feel like they're getting tired of my pointless and endless ranting. Well. :\

On a totally brighter note, U-Kiss are making their comeback soon! Their new choreography and MV set looks so freaking amazing. I really can't wait for the album to drop.

Abrupt ending. Adios!

Saturday, August 20, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

It sucks when you're feeling down for no reason.

It sucks even more when you don't have anyone to turn to.

| Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

Things have been absolutely crazy, but I'm holding on. I can't give up, not right now. Common Test starts in 3 days. I really can't believe how fast this week flew by. I've been looking forward to the weekends so I can rest, but now reality hits and I have to study. 헐 ~

Stayed up till 2am last night. Crazy conversations with Raia, and also Lyna, Arynah and Steffi. Instiz is saying that U-Kiss' title track will be revealed on 26th August, and that's in 6 days, hence the post title. Raia says that Instiz has never failed her before, so this only means one thing. D-6. :D

Caught the boys on K-Wave yesterday! Ran out of the room when I saw tweets about them being on TV, and almost fell, but whatever! They look so freaking amazing and the sneak peek of their new choreography is just wow. Hoontokki (Tumblr) caught it on video! ^-^

I really went crazy over them last night. Can't wait to see them on stage again. I kind of miss fangirling over them. :')

Busy day today. Collecting r2pi shirts for myself, Cherlyn & Shahira from ukissmeSG, then get my fringe straightened for Hari Raya, then off to Kakak's house to break fast. I should bring a book, paper and pen with me, in case I get bored of reading and want to write, vice versa.

I love 3E'11. ♥

Sunday, August 14, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

Like the title says, I'm stressed. But! I'm stressed and happy, so it's perfectly fine. ^-^

Talked to a few people today, and I'm feeling extremely contented with the caring and loving people I have around me. I'm only 15, why be all emotional? Enough of petty problems, enough of getting jealous of every single thing. I'm gonna try and be contented with whatever I already have, and it's been working. Recently, I've never felt more loved and cared for.

I'm still going to have my fair share of problems, but hey, I'm gonna solve it and get over it. Not only me, but everyone should do this as well. It's no use crying over spilt milk, nor is it worth dwelling on something that you know is going to make you sad.

Several people have already told me that they believe in me, and that I should believe in myself too. I'm going to try. No one's perfect, right? I have my own flaws, and also my good sides. I'm not going to let anything bring down the usually happy, hyper and retarded me. :D Come to think of it, I miss being crazy and hyper. I let problems overtake my emotions lately. It's unhealthy. :(

Anyway! Tomorrow is Monday, and I really hope for a good week ahead! Common Test start on 23rd, so I'm gonna focus on my studies and try to not get distracted by the amazing thing that is the Internet.

By the way, Zico is amazing. His rapping is full of swag, and his mixtapes are just awesome. First laid my eyes on him when I was watching Music Bank on Friday. His performance with HyunA was totally WOW. No worries, my loyalty and heart lies with my beloved Ubiquitous 9. :P

Thursday, August 11, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

U-Kiss are making their comeback soon! :') Word has been going around that their comeback stage will be on M!Countdown on 8th September. Fervently hoping that it's true, because it'll only be a day after someone's special day. *coughs* :3

Anyway! Went to airport on the 7th to welcome B1A4! It was so nice to see Gladys, Guean, Shahira and Ruc again after quite a while. I swear, I almost went deaf because of the deafening screams. CNU's hair is really... bouncy. Jealous.

Really not happy with all my results so far. Every time I got a test paper back, I'd go into my own little corner in my brain to scold and cuss myself. Then, I'll just be quiet for a few hours. By quiet, I really mean quiet. Not even opening my mouth, and ignoring everyone around me, even when they talk to me. Yup, it's pretty bad.

And... I really cannot let moodswings get the better of me.

Saturday, August 06, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

"Have you ever felt so insulted that you tried to lose weight?"

Yes, yes, I have, and the feeling isn't all that great, either. It hurts so much to be looked down upon, and it only contributes to my already low self-esteem and zero confidence. I guess I'm the one to be blamed, since I don't really take care of myself. I do try, though.

I've been taking insults in since primary school, and I think it's safe to say that I'm immune to every insult directed at me. It hurts a lot, so much, that I'm just numb. I don't show any reaction, but inside, it's another story. It's like I'm never good enough as who I am now. It's not like anyone understands, anyway.

I do feel comforted when I turn to people, but the comfort doesn't last long. I just keep looking down on myself, and I really, really don't know why. Maybe, I'm not comfortable with who I am now, or maybe I'm not confident about myself or, maybe, I just cannot accept myself. It sucks.

On a somewhat brighter note, I lost 3kg, but my brother insists it's only water loss. Hmm.

On a totally brighter note, we're only left with two scenes to composite and render for our animation competition. Then, we'll just compile everything together and we're done! :)

Friday, August 05, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

This week has been so... wow.

I have to go back to school tomorrow, stay back on Monday (when it's half-day) and go back on Wednesday (a school holiday), all for Animation. As much as I love animating, I hope we'll quickly wrap up and submit our entry for the competition. It's been draining nearly all of my energy. ):

Alexander's fanmeet in Hong Kong tomorrow! Why am I not there? I miss him so badly, and I wish I could be there to see him in the flesh again. T-T

Eli's been active on both Twitter and Tumblr nowadays! His replies and posts are always cracking me up. It's during these times that I realise again how much I love the boys and how important they are to me! I'm not even joking. They're so precious. :')

Also, nowadays, I've been feeling down for no reason at all. I get affected a lot more easily, and more often than not, I let my feelings take over. I think negatively, I look down on myself. Then again, that's normal, isn't it? I don't know. I'm confused myself. I think there's something wrong with me, but I don't know what it is and I'm having a hard time trying to figure it out.

Well then, better sleep early tonight to prepare myself for my long day tomorrow. :)

Monday, August 01, 2011 | Posted by Naz | 0 comment/s

내가 제일 잘나가

Nothing can bring me down!

화이팅!